Quaint Honour by Roger Gellert

Author:Roger Gellert [Gellert, Roger]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Social Science, LGBTQ+ Studies, Gay Studies, Lesbian Studies, Psychology, Human Sexuality, Education, General, Drama, European, English; Irish; Scottish; Welsh, Lgbtq
ISBN: 9781786823793
Google: qqD8DwAAQBAJ
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
Published: 2017-10-29T04:33:52+00:00

ACT THREE

SCENE ONE

TULLY’s study. It is Sunday morning, four days later.

TULLY is trying, not altogether successfully, to oil his cricket bat without oiling his Sunday suit as well. TURNER, holding two pairs of TULLY’s shoes, is spluttering with indignation.

TURNER: Well, honestly, crumbs, I do think it’s the bloody limit, quite frankly.

TULLY: I’ve said I’m sorry, Tich.

TURNER: Fat lot of good that does. I mean, I don’t understand what you see in him.

TULLY: How could you possibly? Anyway, who started the whole thing?

TURNER: I know, don’t rub it in. Peccavi.

TULLY: On the contrary, you never did a better thing. I shan’t forget it.

TURNER: Nor shall I.

TULLY: Look, it may be your fault, or mine, but it’s certainly not his, so you’ve nothing to hold against him. You acted from the worst possible motives, and it happens to have been an inspiration.

TURNER: I suppose you’re in love or something wet.

TULLY: God knows.

TURNER: (Singing.) ‘I’m in love, I’m in love, I’m in love with a wonderful drip.’

TULLY: (Roaring.) Shut up!

Abruptly, the door is thrown open and PARK comes in, scowling and melodramatic.

PARK: Oh – Turner, would you mind just clearing out for a minute.

TURNER: Yes, Park. Certainly, Park. (To TULLY, indicating the shoes.) I’ll get these done right away.

TULLY: Thanks.

Exit TURNER.

PARK: (Furious.) Well, congratulations!

TULLY: What?

PARK: I congratulate you.

TULLY: Very decent of you. May one know why?

PARK: I’m afraid you won’t laugh your way out of this. I saw Hamilton coming out of your room this morning at about six o’clock. I was on my way to the bog and I thought I heard talking in the upstairs dormitories. But it wasn’t in the dormitories, it was in your room, and while I was watching, Hamilton came out. − It hasn’t taken me long to realise what it means.

TULLY: (Looking at his watch.) It’s taken you six and a quarter hours.

PARK: I ought to smash you.

TULLY: I shouldn’t try. − Look, Mungo, this is rather silly. Tell me what’s biting you, for God’s sake, and try to make it sound like sense.

PARK: I said I saw Hamilton coming out of your room.

TULLY: Odd that I didn’t.

PARK: I suppose I was seeing visions.

TULLY: Not a vision that does you much credit.

PARK: Or you.

TULLY: You’re really serious? You saw Hamilton – of all people –

PARK: I saw him.

TULLY: I suppose he must sleepwalk or something.

PARK: Can’t you do better than that?

TULLY: Well, for God’s sake, why didn’t you accuse him on the spot if you really thought something was up?

PARK: Because it didn’t strike me at once, that’s why. It had never occurred to me that you, of all people –

TULLY: But I gather it occurs now.

PARK: Yes, it damned well does.

TULLY: It’s your word against mine.

PARK: Look, I wouldn’t have made this up, would I? You had Hamilton with you last night. Are you going on denying it?

TULLY: (With a sigh.) All right, Mungo. Sorry. Yes, Hamilton was with me; has been for the last four nights. I haven’t enjoyed the deception, you know, but with your attitude, what else could I do?

PARK: Look here –

TULLY: Don’t let it worry you.

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